I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
