remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
