so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
