Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
