How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
