i just google imaged poop.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just invented taco cereal.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
