we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
