Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
