Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
