My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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