all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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