It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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