I bet he comes in French.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
