I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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