you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
