he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
