Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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