Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
