At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
