I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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