in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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