Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She bit a glass in half.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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