You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
