Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
