we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
