What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
