Already got asked if we're dating
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
