i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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