how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
