Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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