do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
