I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
