just come out here and I will go home with you...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
