i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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