Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I smell stomach acid.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
