He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
