I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
