I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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