how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
