the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
