I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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