im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
