So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
