Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she smelled like a LAN party
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
