I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
