I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
