It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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