girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
