so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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