you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
